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It’s Time I Posted a New Blog about Social Media

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From an interview with John Hopkins

Why talk about social media when it already takes over too much of your time?

Because after working with media and mental health for over 30 years, I am finding that the effects of social media have taken over as a mental health and emotional influence, more powerful than some print and televised media. When I completed my research in the 80’s on the positive influence of TV to help children manage stress, there was no social media. Then, when  I released my book Get Reel: Produce Your Own Life in 2015, social media was taking off as a major influence in individual lives.

What do you really need to know?

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WAYS TO BE HAPPY NOW

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We are all in this together.
If you feel isolated or thrown off your normal routine, remember that most of us have had major life changes during the health challenge. Finding ways to navigate uncharted territory and sudden change takes a supportive team and we can all work together to find old and new ways to support one another. You deserve it and your sense of well-being is more important now than ever. In addition to the good advice of social distancing and hand washing, here are some for you to try to help you have the best experience possible while taking care of yourself and others.

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Happy Makes You Healthy

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See more at Inspiring Lives

Can you recall a day when you felt good inside, in every cell of your being, and with your relationship with every part of your life? Since you tend to experience life through the awareness of your physical body, when you are feeling well, your perception of everything else gets better. And it works both ways: when you feel well physically, you have happier thoughts and when you have happy thoughts, you create a positive feeling in your body. But that is just the beginning!

Today the science of psychoneuroimmunology studies the mind-body interaction, especially the amazing cures that have resulted from the placebo effect. This effect occurs when patients receive healings of physical conditions when they are not even been giving real medication, surgery or treatment. For example, a treatment may be given that is believed to be effective and later it is found that it is not. So why do one-third of those taking the treatment improve? Belief and expectation create a result of the mind and body energies working together. They are intricately connected in such a way that when one is working well, the other can’t help but thrive!

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TEXTING VS. YELLING AT HOME: HOW TO STAY HAPPY

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Dr. Nancy was interviewed by USA Today in April 2019 on this topic. 

Would you believe that there are some positive benefits to texting at home? Sometimes the most complex and the simplest things are suitable for texting. For example, if you want to approach a difficult topic but want to give the person some lead time to think about it, you could text them in advance, stating what you want to discuss and asking them to get back to you with a time to talk. Or you might just be saying that dinner is ready, or asking if you left an item in another part of the house. It can be practical to send short simple texts to address any of these topics. But if you are texting rather than talking as if the person is not in the house, then you are risking becoming distant and misunderstood. The same level of connection cannot be maintained electronically that you can have in person, and the message can too easily be misinterpreted. For these types of communications, it is important that you do exist separate from your device and that certain things don’t require electronic devices. Texting too often implies that the sender assumes that you are constantly with one of your devices. And that assumption alone can be dangerous for your social connection to real people in real time.

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Fake news and other scary stuff for kids

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In an interview with Fox News, Dr. Nancy explains hoaxes online and what you can do about them.

Some factors get in the way of children feeling safe when they hear news or see things on the Internet that aren’t real. Why?

Children don’t distinguish fantasy from reality. When their big brother tells them that the boogeyman is out to get them, or that there is a tooth fairy, they take it at face value, so exposure to a myth about an image can really take hold in a child’s mind. It is unhealthy for children to be exposed to such frightful ideas that can stay with them for a period of time, challenging their feelings of safety. This phenomenon even occurs with adults who watch way too many crime shows; they feel less safe than those who don’t and may avoid venturing out due to these feelings.

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How to Manage Emotions in a Way that Empowers You

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Originally from an interview in Chicago Tribune Review
Here’s why people love shows like ‘This Is Us’ — even though they make us cry

Would you like to be able to have, accept and address your feelings? If so, then start by asking yourself what you usually do with your feelings.

When you have feelings that overwhelm you or make you uncomfortable, there are some natural urges to help you stop feeling so badly. One is to stuff them down or push them away in the hope that they will disappear. But it doesn’t work; it only creates a pile of feelings that gets higher and higher each time that you try to ignore them. Another unsuccessful strategy is to tell yourself that you are okay with them, pretending that you can live with something that is really not okay for you. These patterns are usually set in childhood, when you have few choices if you are distressed. You may not have yet been able to identify your feelings or know how to express them. And you may not have had someone around to help you with them.

These patterns persist into adulthood and are equally unsuccessful, as you have likely been storing emotions for a long time, using the unsuccessful patterns. You may have beliefs attached to the feelings that are embedded and are limiting your ability to work, relate to others and feel happiness. This is when many people come to me for therapy in the hope of resolving the feelings that by now may be causing depression and anxiety.

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ARE YOU SPIRITUALLY FIT?

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What is the part of you that lives forever? It’s a fascinating idea, to stand in knowing that you are are the custodian of a spiritual energy that remains long after the best day is done, the sweltering summer is over, and the all-season tires have worn out on your very first car.

Truly, you are not limited to the physical body. And it isn’t about religious beliefs or concepts, but rather an understanding that you are more than your body, that you have a spirit that will exist independent of daily life’s aches and pains, losses, triumphs, birthdays, and even sumptuous chocolate chip cookies.

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It’s summer travel time: Are you anxious about flying?

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Originally appeared in Thrive Global Summer 2018

Media and health blogs report that this is such a common problem! Many people have come to me in my psychotherapy practice to learn how to reduce flying anxiety. Symptoms include fear of heights, fear of being out of control, sleeplessness before a flight, generalized anxiety and resistance to taking the trip.

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Build Lasting Confidence

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Originally appeared in Inspiring Lives Summer 2018

Health articles in the media ask the question, “Do you know how to believe in, love and accept yourself?” It is an important question; without self-love and acceptance you cannot maintain a long-term vision and learn to walk in your own shoes. Knowing who you are and which shoes fit the best comes before setting out toward confidence. So begin with some soul-searching.

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Things to Avoid Saying to Your Child During a Divorce

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Reprinted in Your Tango December 2021
https://www.yourtango.com/family/10-most-damaging-things-parents-say-children-divorce

Originally appeared in Fatherly July 2018 
https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/divorce-things-to-never-say-to-children/

As a health, media and educational/child psychologist and former trainer for parents in Pittsburgh’s Divorce Education program, I was interviewed by “Fatherly” about things to never say to your kids during a divorce. The latest project around children and divorce is acting as a board member and contributor for a new film that will air on PBS in the fall about ways to help families navigate the storm of during divorce. I would offer the following key points:

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