Originated from an interview in the Huffington Post, with Stephanie Hallett, September 2017
Dreams are mysterious, curious, sometimes promising and other times troubling. Most people love to solve mysteries and know themselves better, and so dreams are a window to yourself and your intuitive wisdom. There is a wonderful example in the 2016 movie A Monster Calls. When the lead actor has a recurring scary dream, the entire movie is built around how he learns the lesson of the dream.
If you started by saying, I am a mother, a teacher, an IT expert, a member of a board of directors, you have found yourself at the starting point of your journey to who you really are. Certainly, you would answer the question differently now than you would have 5 or 10 or 20 years ago, and so you know a bit of what It mean to change your identity. But who are you REALLY?
A famous psychologist said many years ago that there are three selves:
The journey to the first self, who you are, will answer any questions you may have about your life purpose. And here is a secret… the more congruent and alike the three selves are the more you are fulfilling your purpose, being your true self and hopefully living a joyful life.
We assume roles of who we think we are sometimes by accident or happenstance; some are placed upon us by others and some are consciously chosen. And these roles can be ones that consciously resonate with our souls, others that we have taken on that we live out without question or ones we wish we could shed. All of them are either here to serve our progress as souls on the earth, or to interfere with that progression, but all of our roles are here so that we can learn.
Take for example the second self, a role of who you think you are. You may strongly identify yourself as a member of an ethnic professional, or religious group. As a young child you may have thought of yourself as a member of the 4th grade class, the soccer team, Johnny’s sister or as Mary Lou Johnson’s best friend. Now ask yourself if this role has served you and others well or if it has been a detriment to yours or others growth. Then examine whether you chose the role or if it was chosen for you. Career choices, and religious practices are often influenced by parents or other influential adults and may or may not be true to who you really are. For example, ethnic groups and families may support you in your service toward others or may become clannish and shut others out.
At some point it’s good to sort through a list of the roles you chose, the ones that drive you and bring you joy and a second list of the ones that feel like a heavy responsibility or make you uncomfortable. The second ones are usually chosen for you or thrust upon you out of some necessity, but can still help you to grow, even if the growth is to grow out of them. Some of the roles bear no resemblance to the real you but have become a part of your personality through forced repetition. Consider that the ones that drive you and make you happy are ones that are a part of the real you, or at least the real personal you.
Over time you develop stories about who you think we are or who others tell you that you are. It may be time to stop and ask yourself if the story is true. You may become so attached to it, that you forget to question and look at whether it is true and whether the stories serves you. You may want to look over your stories about who you think you are the way you might sort through a closet, deciding what truly gives you joy, vs. what needs to be released to be true to your real Self.
When you think of what to keep and what to release, consider the dual nature of man, the spiritual Self and the human self, the latter containing the ego. The ego holds all of our roles and identities, your memberships and your judgments. You will see that the ego’s stories about your identity can contain false beliefs without our even realizing it. Dogmas may become so strongly positioned that you forget that they are not the truth, only ideas or even lies about the truth of who we really are. But a healthy ego that is not insecure, chooses the life paths that bring joy and service, and sets clear boundaries to stay mentally and physically healthy. It is then that the self/ego is serving the higher Self at the core of who you truly are.
The Self, the truth of who you are, is the core and foundation before all of the beliefs about your personal identity or what you need others to believe about you, and it exists without them. Think about that. It exists without them. It is your spiritual inner core, the part of you that exists without any of the story. And it is the part of you that is perfect. Yes, You Are Perfect™.
In asking if something is true, you might examine whether it is an assumption or false story. Your story is full of assumptions that have become solidified into beliefs, that are not true. Ester and Jerry Hicks in the Law of Attraction, explain that when you are being true to yourself, that you feel joy, energy, and compassion. The key is mindfully living in the moment and moving toward beliefs and actions that serve you and away from ones that don’t.
To live purposefully spend as much time as possible in who you truly are, enjoy it, and employ it to be of service and as a source of positive creation., As Baba Ram Das the author of Be Here Now, an early book on mindfulness would say “Love everyone (compassion, service), and do your meditation (prayer, connection with the Self), All the rest is entertainment (story).”
Join me in future blogs to journey through the self, healing what needs to be healed and supporting you with powerful practices. The journey starts with the truth that (Spiritual Self) “You Are Perfect™.”
To learn more about simple techniques that keep you living in your true self, go to https://drnancyonline.com/register/course/ to sign up for the course on 6 Essential Spiritual Tools for Busy People.
Until next time,
Dr. Nancy
Welcome! I have been waiting for you to make the decision, no matter how busy you are to have a perfectly spiritual life. You have been telling me what you want, a deeper connection to spiritual guidance, peace, and wisdom. You have reviewed tools, books, and classes to reach your goal, and still feel that something is missing. And most of all, you are too busy or caught up in all the authors and speakers to really clarify what works best. When you try to capture the essence of their messages, are you briefly inspired, but aren’t experiencing an ongoing perfectly spiritually driven life?
Can you let go of being overly responsible to everything but your own spirit?
If you now feel ready to give up feelings of emptiness, lack of fulfillment and stress, self-blame for not doing your spiritual practice or doing it inconsistently, and past wounds that keep you stuck and are craving solutions, then together we can integrate the 6 tools that will lead you to a perfectly spiritual life.
Do you want a set of spiritual tools that you can integrate into your life that will become automatic and joyful to practice, that will bring you instantly into operating from your higher self and will keep you there in the recognition of your perfection? Would you like to feel the joy of being there? Answering your prayers involves recognizing that at a spiritual level You Are Perfect.
Together we will build the 6 spiritual tools that will connect you directly to your perfectly spiritual life that are yours to keep. And why should you follow me to gather these tools? Because we will make them stick, using some highly effective activities that have helped tens of thousands of people! And because my lifetime of spiritual living amid busyness and struggle led me to a path that you can take skipping over my past mistakes.
No one was busier and yet more dedicated to their spiritual life than I was. At the time I was clearly receiving spiritual guidance to fulfill my purpose of spiritual teaching through workshops, and university courses, and spiritual fitness coaching at hospitals, schools and in private practice. But I was not noticing the guidance I was receiving about the toll it was taking on my health I was getting signals that I was tired, overworked and overwhelmed in my body but was ignoring them and pressing forward, something my background had made me very good at doing! The idea that I could busily overwork and fulfill my spiritual purpose at the same time was about to crash and burn.
I became severely ill, just as my body and intuition were telling me, would happen. Compelled to use all the tools that I had been actively teaching to heal myself, I healed more rapidly than any of my doctors could explain and had a full recovery! After my recovery, Spiritual Fitness, a guidebook for a perfectly spiritual life was written for you as an outcome of my experience. And this course You Are Perfect ™ is the next step in giving you what you have told me you want and deeply need.
Best of all, you can have your 6 essential tools simply without going about it the hard way. The path to healing that worked for me can work for you. Whether you simply want a more deeply focused spiritual life or healing old habits and beliefs that get in the way, You Are Perfect ™ offers you the easy, fun, and permanent changes that will awaken your perfectly spiritual life.
The methods are the result of live training with some of the most inspired teachers, including Jean Houston, (Search for the Beloved) Brian Weiss, M.D, (Many Lives, Many Masters) Marianne Williamson (Return to Love), Tony Robbing (Life Force), and Carolyn Myss (Sacred Contracts) to name a few.
To create success with You Are Perfect ™ sign up below:
Happy Holidays from Real Conscious Living! Enjoy these four spiritual gifts this holiday season. At this time of year especially, we remember our spiritual reasons for the season. These four video gifts are yours free to bring inspiration to your holidays and ideas for starting the new year spiritually fit!
Human beings have a dual and connected nature, human selves and spiritual selves. You are in a human body in the world where it is quite easy to get caught up in the drama of being human and forget your true spiritual nature (as Divine love in expression.) It’s important to restore your connection with spirit often or you may feel a bit anxious or lost. Another reason to address our spirituality, is that it is the lifeforce of our existence. Many people seek spiritual purpose in their lives, feeling drawn to know and live the purpose of their spirit here on earth. They join or are born into spiritual communities or religious traditions that help them develop rituals and practices that bring them closer to the experience of their own divinity. But even without a physical community we are all connected through the spirit. It’s like the spiritual version of the Internet which is sometimes called the inner-net. The depth of our spirituality can be experienced by :
Free video Gift to learn more:
Various types of ritual, prayer, spiritual or religious practice, meditation, and breath regulation will help you to activate your spiritual energy and create blessings in your life.
Breathing practices still the mind and allow for activation of the parasympathetic nervous system. Breathing is the integrating factor between the mind and body (as you relax the breath you relax the mind and body) and is of great assistance in many spiritual practices. Research shows that even five minutes a day of deep breathing can lower blood pressure.
To lower cortisol levels and stress to find a peaceful place within, meditation, prayer and what is currently used in education, business, health care and therapy: Mindfulness. It now has research to support that it can be helpful for pain management. Mindfulness helps you move from thinking to doing to being.
Free Video Gift includes Breathing Exercises and a Mindfulness Exercise.
So many people have asked me how to stop the endless chatter in their minds. You don’t end it, because it is a function of being human. There are methods for changing the brain so that you can have a life that is driven by the spirit more so than the chatter. These methods activate the reward circuits of the brain, inhibit the stress response, and increase health both physically and mentally. One way is to recall a time when you were at peace, perhaps a religious or spiritual experience, a specific time, and recall what you saw at that time, what you heard, and felt. Fully engage with the memory for a minute and then allow a word to come to you that reminds you of this time. The next time your mind is overactive and is not allowing the spirit to drive, recall this memory and say the word to yourself a few times. If time permits you can go back to the memory and sit with it for a while. The more often you do this exercise the stronger the association it will have with peace.
Free Video Gift for more information:
Many people say that they had an experience in nature that made them aware that they were a part of something bigger and felt at one with everything. For those, it was a life-changing experience. Others can connect spiritually to nature by standing on the earth barefoot and feeling the energy from your feet connecting to the earth like the roots of a tree. Some of the earliest spiritual practices on earth came from Indigenous people who used rituals to connect to the universal spirit through the earth, wind, water and sun.
Recently, some structured activities have been designed to help people connect through nature. Gazing silently at the night sky gives a sense of the larger universe and gets you outside of yourself. Mother Teresa said that “God, … cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature — trees, flowers, grass — grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence …”
Free Video Gift offers information on how to connect to your spirit through nature!
Everyone at Transformedia wishes you a most spiritual and happy holiday. Join us in the new year for much more on Real Conscious Spiritual Living!
Dr. Nancy
Did you ever think that you were perfect? At the spiritual level you already are perfect. It’s just your human side that sees your perceived flaws that painfully strive for perfection. What if it was just a matter of a shift that you could make right now that would free you from striving and put you right in the middle of your perfection?
I understand that right now is an important time to make this shift as you are busy and don’t have time to do, read, practice, or take on another thing in your life. Have been searching for that just right thing to live a more purposeful and spiritual life but didn’t have the time to practice what you know or try something new? If you answered “Yes,” to this question then living in your perfection will be just right for you! Congratulations!!! You are ready to allow your life to be easily purposeful and meaningful.
In the next weeks, I will be bringing my lifetime of experience as a psychologist and spiritual teacher to you to help you easily find yourself living in an open space to begin each day purposefully and joyfully with MINIMUM EFFORT and stress. As an example of the ease of the many processes and that can bring you to awareness of the perfect state, here’s one that we will use as we build on the process of ease. To begin, try this one short exercise.
Think of a time, one time, when you felt effortlessly happy, a time when perhaps you saw something that made you smile, did something for someone else or you were celebrating something important. It might be a time when someone said something to you that made you feel happy or a time when you were in nature or in meditative solitude. I wonder if you can remember that time of happiness now. What do you remember about it? Where in your body do you feel the happiness? What do you see when you think of it? Maybe you can even remember what you heard at that time, especially what you were telling yourself about the memory. Perhaps it would be easy for you to allow a word that connects with this memory to come to you now. SNAP! There it is, saved safely for you to come back to whenever you want to live in a happy state of mind. Simply repeat the word and bring yourself back into the memory. You can use my words above to help you to recall the memory fully and immerse yourself in happiness, mind body and spirit!
This is just an example of what is to come as you consciously discover that you are perfect. We will peel away anything in your human self that gets in the way, while acknowledging and embracing what brings you to your purposeful, spiritual happy life.
I think you’re going to love this! Please join me on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin and Instagram to get the latest updates and invite your friends to personally connect with their perfection through our upcoming newsletters here.
Dr. Nancy’s interview with KNSET radio in Los Angeles on all things related to media
THERE IS A NEW CHALLENGE WITH ALL MEDIA
There is a new challenge for us and our families as a result of the Internet, the expansion of television, YouTube, apps, and social media. Of course, this is both good and bad. It offers more opportunities for connection and education but also some potentially negative outcomes.
All of these forms of media expand and change continually, and it is not possible to determine the effects of any of these expansions without research. While it’s not possible to research the effects of every new TV channel or app, the global practice of conscious viewing will be a great navigating tool.
1. What is the intention or message of the media? For example, in Normal Lear’s work, All in the Family, Maude, and The Jeffersons, the message was progressive and matched movements in the culture in terms of race, gender, and family structure. Decide if you want to accept the message or not and whether it is good for you.
https://www.pittsburghmagazine.com/did-you-see-what-they-posted-on-nextdoor
When some of my contributors, Jen Antkowiak, Deborah Barr, Bonnie Budzowski, Paula Franetti, Gina Mazza and Janet McKee wrote sections with me for a project on The Top Ten Tips for Lasting Happiness, we focused on the types of happiness that are unlikely to change over time. Jen’s chapter was related to the #1 reason for happiness reported by the most people: social connections. It was then and is now on the top of the list. The other key elements in the top ten list were food, exercise, how friends can cause happiness, and laughter. Additional elements included gratitude and flow.
Happiness was and continues to be the subject of a great deal of study. When Kellie Gormley interviewed me recently for Pittsburgh Magazine she wanted to know about the pros and cons of a new social network site called NextDoor. It’s an online site where you can sign up to connect to people in your geographical area to talk about area news. It’s no surprise that this type of program was developed because we are still looking for positive and supportive ways to connect to people with whom we have something in common. In addition, it’s practical because you can find local contractors, pet sitters, snow shovelers, Chinese food delivery and lost pets!
Originally from Dr. Nancy’s Interview with Voice of America
People tell me they enjoy using a social media app called Tik Tok. But recently they have been taken in by false personalities who don’t represent the actual person. And it’s not carefully marked as to which posters are real and which are fictional. You can get taken in by a false personality, engage with them and believe that you have a relationship with them, called a “parasocial” relationship. It happens when the character feels like a personal friend.
It’s very similar to the ways that TV influences you. The characters on reality shows such as The Bachelorette, the Real Housewives shows, or even TV soaps. become relevant to you. It can happen with any reality or fictional series. The issue is that when you invite the characters into your life and living rooms, you become attached. They become familiar and are like family so you want to know what will happen to them next. It’s even more true with Tik Toc because the characters are easily accessible and because Tik Tok can be interactive. The relationship becomes “parasocial”
From Dr.Nancy’s interview with Healthline
Researchers say that when people constantly read news that they are “doomscrolling.” When you see too much bad news you can have more fear and anxiety. It can occupy too much of your day and keep you up late at night. And it only serves to make you worried and sad.
This is especially true since Covid-19. You want to know all you can to keep safe. So, you may go through every newsfeed and sometimes get misinformation. It’s not a good idea and can make you anxious to focus so much on the Covid. Once you have heard the recommended precautions and have good guidelines, it’s better to focus on more positive activities.
More information about this topic can be found in the full interview with HealthDay or U.S. News at the following links: HealthDay, U.S. News & World Report
Do you become too attached to onscreen characters? You may be especially attached if you can’t wait to see what happens to your favorite character next, are set up to receive spoiler alerts, mourn when they leave the show or worse, get killed off or when you are binge watching your favorites. But why do you get so attached and how can you regulate your attachments so that you can keep them but keep them healthy?
Can you hear your still small voice within that always knows what is best for you an guides you through a multitude of storms? The mind is so busy with mental chatter that it is sometimes hard to hear your inner voice or feel the gut-feelings that tell you when you are about to make a mistake, when something is good for you, or even when someone is thinking of you.