If you started by saying, I am a mother, a teacher, an IT expert, a member of a board of directors, you have found yourself at the starting point of your journey to who you really are. Certainly, you would answer the question differently now than you would have 5 or 10 or 20 years ago, and so you know a bit of what It mean to change your identity. But who are you REALLY?
A famous psychologist said many years ago that there are three selves:
- Who you are, – the core of you at your spiritual level
- Who you think you are- the identities you have taken on during your life and the stories you tell yourself about who you are
- And who you want others to think you are- how you want to be perceived.
The journey to the first self, who you are, will answer any questions you may have about your life purpose. And here is a secret… the more congruent and alike the three selves are the more you are fulfilling your purpose, being your true self and hopefully living a joyful life.
We assume roles of who we think we are sometimes by accident or happenstance; some are placed upon us by others and some are consciously chosen. And these roles can be ones that consciously resonate with our souls, others that we have taken on that we live out without question or ones we wish we could shed. All of them are either here to serve our progress as souls on the earth, or to interfere with that progression, but all of our roles are here so that we can learn.
Take for example the second self, a role of who you think you are. You may strongly identify yourself as a member of an ethnic professional, or religious group. As a young child you may have thought of yourself as a member of the 4th grade class, the soccer team, Johnny’s sister or as Mary Lou Johnson’s best friend. Now ask yourself if this role has served you and others well or if it has been a detriment to yours or others growth. Then examine whether you chose the role or if it was chosen for you. Career choices, and religious practices are often influenced by parents or other influential adults and may or may not be true to who you really are. For example, ethnic groups and families may support you in your service toward others or may become clannish and shut others out.
At some point it’s good to sort through a list of the roles you chose, the ones that drive you and bring you joy and a second list of the ones that feel like a heavy responsibility or make you uncomfortable. The second ones are usually chosen for you or thrust upon you out of some necessity, but can still help you to grow, even if the growth is to grow out of them. Some of the roles bear no resemblance to the real you but have become a part of your personality through forced repetition. Consider that the ones that drive you and make you happy are ones that are a part of the real you, or at least the real personal you.
Over time you develop stories about who you think we are or who others tell you that you are. It may be time to stop and ask yourself if the story is true. You may become so attached to it, that you forget to question and look at whether it is true and whether the stories serves you. You may want to look over your stories about who you think you are the way you might sort through a closet, deciding what truly gives you joy, vs. what needs to be released to be true to your real Self.
When you think of what to keep and what to release, consider the dual nature of man, the spiritual Self and the human self, the latter containing the ego. The ego holds all of our roles and identities, your memberships and your judgments. You will see that the ego’s stories about your identity can contain false beliefs without our even realizing it. Dogmas may become so strongly positioned that you forget that they are not the truth, only ideas or even lies about the truth of who we really are. But a healthy ego that is not insecure, chooses the life paths that bring joy and service, and sets clear boundaries to stay mentally and physically healthy. It is then that the self/ego is serving the higher Self at the core of who you truly are.
The Self, the truth of who you are, is the core and foundation before all of the beliefs about your personal identity or what you need others to believe about you, and it exists without them. Think about that. It exists without them. It is your spiritual inner core, the part of you that exists without any of the story. And it is the part of you that is perfect. Yes, You Are Perfect™.
In asking if something is true, you might examine whether it is an assumption or false story. Your story is full of assumptions that have become solidified into beliefs, that are not true. Ester and Jerry Hicks in the Law of Attraction, explain that when you are being true to yourself, that you feel joy, energy, and compassion. The key is mindfully living in the moment and moving toward beliefs and actions that serve you and away from ones that don’t.
To live purposefully spend as much time as possible in who you truly are, enjoy it, and employ it to be of service and as a source of positive creation., As Baba Ram Das the author of Be Here Now, an early book on mindfulness would say “Love everyone (compassion, service), and do your meditation (prayer, connection with the Self), All the rest is entertainment (story).”
Join me in future blogs to journey through the self, healing what needs to be healed and supporting you with powerful practices. The journey starts with the truth that (Spiritual Self) “You Are Perfect™.”
To learn more about simple techniques that keep you living in your true self, go to https://drnancyonline.com/register/course/ to sign up for the course on 6 Essential Spiritual Tools for Busy People.
Until next time,
Dr. Nancy
