What’s True About You

If you started by saying, I am a mother, a teacher, an IT expert, a member of a board of directors, you have found yourself at the starting point of your journey to who you really are. Certainly, you would answer the question differently now than you would have 5 or 10 or 20 years ago, and so you know a bit of what It mean to change your identity.  But who are you REALLY?

A famous psychologist said many years ago that there are three selves:

  • Who you are, – the core of you at your spiritual level
  • Who you think you are- the identities you have taken on during your life and the stories you tell yourself about who you are
  • And who you want others to think you are- how you want to be perceived.

The journey to the first self, who you are, will answer any questions you may have about your life purpose. And here is a secret… the more congruent and alike the three selves are the more you are fulfilling your purpose, being your true self and hopefully living a joyful life.

We assume roles of who we think we are sometimes by accident or happenstance; some are placed upon us by others and some are consciously chosen.  And these roles can be ones that consciously resonate with our souls,  others that we have taken on that we live out without question or ones we wish we could shed.  All of them are either here to serve our progress as souls on the earth, or to interfere with that progression, but all of our roles are here so that we can learn. 

Take for example the second self, a role of who you think you are. You may strongly identify yourself as a member of an ethnic professional, or religious group. As a young child you may have thought of yourself as a member of the 4th grade class, the soccer team, Johnny’s sister or as Mary Lou Johnson’s best friend. Now ask yourself if this role has served you and others well or if it has been a detriment to yours or others growth. Then examine whether you chose the role or if it was chosen for you.  Career choices, and religious practices are often influenced by parents or other influential adults and may or may not be true to who you really are. For example, ethnic groups and families may support you in your service toward others or may become clannish and shut others out.

At some point it’s good to sort through a list of the roles you chose, the ones that drive you and bring you joy and a second list of the ones that feel like a heavy responsibility or make you uncomfortable. The second ones are usually chosen for you or thrust upon you out of some necessity, but can still help you to grow, even if the growth is to grow out of them. Some of the roles bear no resemblance to the real you but have become a part of your personality through forced repetition. Consider that the ones that drive you and make you happy are ones that are a part of the real you, or at least the real personal you.

Over time you develop stories about who you think we are or who others tell you that you are.  It may be time to stop and ask yourself if the story is true. You may become so attached to it, that you forget to question and look at whether it is true and whether the stories serves you. You may want to look over your stories about who you think you are the way you might sort through a closet, deciding what truly gives you joy, vs. what needs to be released to be true to your real Self.

When you think of what to keep and what to release, consider the dual nature of man, the spiritual Self and the human self, the latter containing the ego.  The ego holds all of our roles and identities, your memberships and your judgments.  You will see that the ego’s stories about your identity can contain false beliefs without our even realizing it. Dogmas may become so strongly positioned that you forget that they are not the truth, only ideas or even lies about the truth of who we really are. But a healthy ego that is not insecure, chooses the life paths that bring joy and service, and sets clear boundaries to stay mentally and physically healthy. It is then that the self/ego is serving the higher Self at the core of who you truly are.

The Self, the truth of who you are, is the core and foundation before all of the beliefs about your personal identity or what you need others to believe about you, and it exists without them.  Think about that. It exists without them.  It is your spiritual inner core, the part of you that exists without any of the story. And it is the part of you that is perfect. Yes, You Are Perfect™.

In asking if something is true, you might examine whether it is an assumption or false story. Your story is full of assumptions that have become solidified into beliefs, that are not true. Ester and Jerry Hicks in the Law of Attraction, explain that when you are being true to yourself, that you feel joy, energy, and compassion. The key is mindfully living in the moment and moving toward beliefs and actions that serve you and away from ones that don’t.

To live purposefully spend as much time as possible in who you truly are, enjoy it, and employ it to be of service and as a source of positive creation., As Baba Ram Das the author of Be Here Now, an early book on mindfulness would say “Love everyone (compassion, service), and do your meditation (prayer, connection with the Self), All the rest is entertainment (story).”

Join me in future blogs to journey through the self, healing what needs to be healed and supporting you with powerful practices. The journey starts with the truth that (Spiritual Self) “You Are Perfect™.” 

To learn more about simple techniques that keep you living in your true self, go to https://drnancyonline.com/register/course/ to sign up for the course on 6 Essential Spiritual Tools for Busy People.

Until next time,

Dr. Nancy

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Four Free Inspirational Gifts from Real Conscious Living

Happy Holidays from Real Conscious Living! Enjoy these four spiritual gifts this holiday season. At this time of year especially, we remember our spiritual reasons for the season. These four video gifts are yours free to bring inspiration to your holidays and ideas for starting the new year spiritually fit!

Introduction to Spiritual Fitness as a Way of Life

Human beings have a dual and connected nature, human selves and spiritual selves. You are in a human body in the world where it is quite easy to get caught up in the drama of being human and forget your true spiritual nature (as Divine love in expression.) It’s important to restore your connection with spirit often or you may feel a bit anxious or lost. Another reason to address our spirituality, is that it is the lifeforce of our existence.  Many people seek spiritual purpose in their lives, feeling drawn to know and live the purpose of their spirit here on earth. They join or are born into spiritual communities or religious traditions that help them develop rituals and practices that bring them closer to the experience of their own divinity. But even without a physical community we are all connected through the spirit. It’s like the spiritual version of the Internet which is sometimes called the inner-net.  The depth of our spirituality can be experienced by :

  • Self-mastery and acceptance of the human self and
  • Practices and rituals that bring our awareness of the spirit to a greater level of experience and understanding
  • Experiences with spiritual awareness )people’s stories of spiritual connection) and in nature

Free video Gift to learn more:

How Does Spiritual Fitness Work?

Various types of ritual, prayer, spiritual or religious practice, meditation, and breath regulation will help you to activate your spiritual energy and create blessings in your life. 

Breathing practices still the mind and allow for activation of the parasympathetic nervous system. Breathing is the integrating factor between the mind and body (as you relax the breath you relax the mind and body) and is of great assistance in many spiritual practices. Research shows that even five minutes a day of deep breathing can lower blood pressure.

To lower cortisol levels and stress to find a peaceful place within, meditation, prayer and what is currently used in education, business, health care and therapy: Mindfulness. It now has research to support that it can be helpful for pain management.  Mindfulness helps you move from thinking to doing to being. 

Free Video Gift includes Breathing Exercises and a Mindfulness Exercise.

Spiritual Fitness Practices for Inner Peace

So many people have asked me how to stop the endless chatter in their minds. You don’t end it, because it is a function of being human. There are methods for changing the brain so that you can have a life that is driven by the spirit more so than the chatter. These methods activate the reward circuits of the brain, inhibit the stress response, and increase health both physically and mentally.   One way is to recall a time when you were at peace, perhaps a religious or spiritual experience, a specific time, and recall what you saw at that time, what you heard, and felt. Fully engage with the memory for a minute and then allow a word to come to you that reminds you of this time.  The next time your mind is overactive and is not allowing the spirit to drive, recall this memory and say the word to yourself a few times.  If time permits you can go back to the memory and sit with it for a while. The more often you do this exercise the stronger the association it will have with peace.

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Finding Spiritual Fitness in Nature

Many people say that they had an experience in nature that made them aware that they were a part of something bigger and felt at one with everything.  For those, it was a life-changing experience.  Others can connect spiritually to nature by standing on the earth barefoot and feeling the energy from your feet connecting to the earth like the roots of a tree.  Some of the earliest spiritual practices on earth came from Indigenous people who used rituals to connect to the universal spirit through the earth, wind, water and sun.

Recently, some structured activities have been designed to help people connect through nature.  Gazing silently at the night sky gives a sense of the larger universe and gets you outside of yourself.  Mother Teresa said that  “God, … cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature — trees, flowers, grass — grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence …”

Free Video Gift offers information on how to connect to your spirit through nature!

Everyone at Transformedia wishes you a most spiritual and happy holiday. Join us in the new year for much more on Real Conscious Spiritual Living!

Dr. Nancy

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REAL CONSCIOUS MEDIA

Dr. Nancy’s interview with KNSET radio in Los Angeles on all things related to media

THERE IS A NEW CHALLENGE WITH ALL MEDIA

There is a new challenge for us and our families as a result of the Internet, the expansion of television, YouTube, apps, and social media. Of course, this is both good and bad.  It offers more opportunities for connection and education but also some potentially negative outcomes.

 All of these forms of media expand and change continually, and it is not possible to determine the effects of any of these expansions without research. While it’s not possible to research the effects of every new TV channel or app, the global practice of conscious viewing will be a great navigating tool.

1. What is the intention or message of the media? For example, in Normal Lear’s work, All in the Family, Maude, and The Jeffersons, the message was progressive and matched movements in the culture in terms of race, gender, and family structure. Decide if you want to accept the message or not and whether it is good for you. 

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Are Social Connections Necessary and Why Do They Matter So Much?


https://www.pittsburghmagazine.com/did-you-see-what-they-posted-on-nextdoor 

When some of my contributors, Jen Antkowiak, Deborah Barr, Bonnie Budzowski, Paula Franetti, Gina Mazza and Janet McKee wrote sections with me for a project on The Top Ten Tips for Lasting Happiness, we focused on the types of happiness that are unlikely to change over time. Jen’s chapter was related to the #1 reason for happiness reported by the most people: social connections. It was then and is now on the top of the list. The other key elements in the top ten list were food, exercise, how friends can cause happiness, and laughter. Additional elements included gratitude and flow.

Happiness was and continues to be the subject of a great deal of study. When Kellie Gormley interviewed me recently for Pittsburgh Magazine she wanted to know about the pros and cons of a new social network site called NextDoor. It’s an online site where you can sign up to connect to people in your geographical area to talk about area news. It’s no surprise that this type of program was developed because we are still looking for positive and supportive ways to connect to people with whom we have something in common. In addition, it’s practical because you can find local contractors, pet sitters, snow shovelers, Chinese food delivery and lost pets!

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WHAT IS TIK TOK AND IS IT GOOD FOR YOU?

Originally from Dr. Nancy’s Interview with Voice of America

People tell me they enjoy using a social media app called Tik Tok.  But recently they have been taken in by false personalities who don’t represent the actual person.  And it’s not carefully marked as to which posters are real and which are fictional. You can get taken in by a false personality, engage with them and believe that you have a relationship with them, called a “parasocial” relationship.  It happens when the character feels like a personal friend.

It’s very similar to the ways that TV influences you.  The characters on reality shows such as The Bachelorette, the Real Housewives shows, or even TV soaps. become relevant to you.  It can happen with any reality or fictional series. The issue is that when you invite the characters into your life and living rooms, you become attached. They become familiar and are like family so you want to know what will happen to them next. It’s even more true with Tik Toc because the characters are easily accessible and because Tik Tok can be interactive. The relationship becomes “parasocial”

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DOOMSCROLLING: WHAT IS IT AND WHY DO YOU DO IT?

From Dr.Nancy’s interview with Healthline

Researchers say that when people constantly read news that they are “doomscrolling.” When you see too much bad news you can have more fear and anxiety. It can occupy too much of your day and keep you up late at night.  And it only serves to make you worried and sad.

This is especially true since Covid-19.  You want to know all you can to keep safe. So, you may go through every newsfeed and sometimes get misinformation. It’s not a good idea and can make you anxious to focus so much on the Covid. Once you have heard the recommended precautions and have good guidelines, it’s better to focus on more positive activities.

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WHY DO WE BECOME SO ATTACHED TO FICTIONAL CHARACTERS?

ATTACHED TO FICTIONAL CHARACTERS
ATTACHED TO FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

More information about this topic can be found in the full interview with HealthDay or U.S. News at the following links: HealthDay,  U.S. News & World Report

Do you become too attached to onscreen characters? You may be especially attached if you can’t wait to see what happens to your favorite character next, are set up to receive spoiler alerts, mourn when they leave the show or worse, get killed off or when you are binge watching your favorites.  But why do you get so attached and how can you regulate your attachments so that you can keep them but keep them healthy?

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Finding Stillness to Listen to Your Spirit and Purpose

SONY DSC

Can you hear your still small voice within that always knows what is best for you an guides you through a multitude of storms? The mind is so busy with mental chatter that it is sometimes hard to hear your inner voice or feel the gut-feelings that tell you when you are about to make a mistake, when something is good for you, or even when someone is thinking of you.

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Spiritual Fitness for You

Comcast Total Media

Spring is the time when so many of us take the time to consider ways to get fit. We pull out the old methods that worked in the past and try them out again. Often relying on past successes is a good way to get things going in life. If you have a formula for success, you are likely to apply it again with great results.

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THE CHANGE IS COMING, FROM ME TO WE

As I watched the opening of the Olympics recently, I could feel the high-level, vibrating message of inclusivity, unity, and harmony among everyone in the world exploding at the event. It was touching, funny, important, elevated, clever and most of all global. Every nation, each person, all colors, and races were acknowledged. The Olympics has the power to do that, and so do we. 

When I published my blog on the environment in Real Conscious Living in 2019, I pondered what would bring us all together to “save the world.” What I knew for sure is that it would take a village. Then yesterday, I saw a photo from Australia showing the heavy rains and flooding that took away many people’s homes and livelihoods. The image showed thousands of spiders building webs together so that they could stay above water and survive as a group. There were so many spiders, all helping one another, building community webs and threads of connection for a joint purpose. They had abandoned their own webs in crisis so that the group could survive, and they would all benefit from their unity. The impact was so great that the silky webs appeared to be like layers of pristine snow hovering just about the flooded ground.

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